Tough Times

Times are tough.

Head up, chin high, the Heavens do rule. 

Stay strong, cry secretly, it’s all part of this isn’t it?

Friends will say ‘i’m here if you need anything’ but you know you can’t hassle them.

You have a heap of people to talk to but at the same time you have no one. It is just one of those things in life. You just want to be less of a burden to the family but the more you try the more complicated things get. You are sensitive, so is everyone else, perhaps more than you. 

That feeling of the first time visiting, the reception, the sanitized smell, clean but you dislike it. You were told to follow the yellow line to room6 and bed C, you do as you are told, curious as to where the yellow and black dotted lines lead to. You turn in and see his roommates. You smile and he smiles back; both knowingly hiding the pain. You ask him how the breakfast is, he replies just fine. You feed him, just as he had fed you except less gentle due to your lack of experience. You never imagined that the first time you feed someone would be in this situation, under these conditions, in this environment. A few hours later, you walk out of the ward, following the yellow lines once again. It is still raining, as you walk out, you start bawling, suppressed tears ooze out as if the flood gates had opened. As you walk to your bus stop, you adjust yourself, not wanting strangers to watch you cry. Yet as you stopped walking, having reached your destination, you take a finally look at that building, you see the flowers on the window sills and you are reminded once again how much you hate that place. Suddenly tears came back again, round two and this time, the hell with strangers… 

Tomorrow will be the second time. They have moved him now, who knows which line you will have to follow tomorrow upon arrival. 

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